It's been a busy busy week.
Wednesday- Les Miserables at the Capitol Theatre
Thursday- visiting family
Friday- My youngest brothers High School Graduation (I am feeling pretty old right now)
Saturday- Car in the shop until Monday ~bleh.
Sunday- Walked to church. (I think this will be an every week thing. It's so beautiful. AND I get to be "green")
Monday- FINALLY get the car back. (Oh wait! I never get it anyway.)
So, my busy week. It's also been a blah week too. I had forgotten just how many dreams and aspirations are flying around when you're 18. Going back to my High School to see my brothers graduate reminded me. I know that goals change and evolve over the years, but it wasn't until I was sitting in commencement that I realized the "Mommy Slump" was upon me.
The "Mommy Slump" isn't the restrictions of your kids or the loss of self because you're doing everything for everyone else. It's the lack of journey and adventure. We get stuck in the same day to day routines. Not really working towards anything.
I am there. I realize that motherhood is in itself a huge journey/adventure. (maybe those are understatements) But I am not just a mother. I am Phannie. I am a runner. I am a quilter. I am a massage therapist. I am . . .
Feeling a bit like something is missing right now. For the past few years all I feel is: I am pregnant. And it wears on me. I think I need a goal. A finish line. (NO, having this baby doesn't count) There isn't really anything that sparks my interest. Within that great adventure of motherhood I need little journeys. Something to keep my individual spirit alive and kicking. I just don't know what.
My Hubby is so wonderful. He tells me all the time that he doesn't want to keep me from doing anything and we can find a way for me to do ANYTHING I want to. I just have to remind him that he isn't the problem. I am. I don't know where my next ambition is. It's lost and I'm not quite sure how to find it. Or get out of the "Mommy Slump."