Thursday, April 30, 2009

Thoughts from Behind the Wheel of Phannie's Car

This week and last I have spent a lot of time in my car driving to and from work. I have had more than a few things come across my mind while driving and just thought that I would share:

1) If you do not spead, that's wonderful; BUT you need to get out of the way for those who do. Let them spead down the road and get pulled over, but please do it without causing Road-rage. Do not slow down in the FAST lane just to make people mad. Get OUT of the way.

2) If there is bad weather outside (rain/snow) turn your lights ON. I know that it's day time and there is light outside, BUT the lights are not so you can see they are so you can be SEEN.

3) PLEASE do not exit the freeway from the far left lane.

4) The Carpool lane is seperated from all the other lanes with a double white line. This means that you DO NOT cross it.

5) Do NOT pull over on the Left side of the road. This is the FAST/MORE DANGEROUS side of the road. We just might hit you. Pull over on the left. The Left side has a larger shoulder= more room to fix the problem.

6) We have had some beautiful days. Don't ya think?

7) If you need to talk on your cell phone please make sure that you have a hands-free set or have that cool feature that plays your phone calls over your speakers or PULL OVER to make your call. (I have almost gotten driven off the road too many times to count this week by people not paying attention because they were on their phones)

8) Everyone should get out and enjoy the SUN. It's beautiful. Just don't forget the sunscrean (I did last week. oops)

9) I hope everyone is enjoying their work as much as I am

10) I love Rascal Flatts

Anyway, you get the picture. It was a great week with a lot of defensive driving. I just have to tell you that I love I-80 and HATE I-15. The people on I-80 are so much more curtious.

Sunday, April 26, 2009



Last night the Hubby and I wanted to do dinner and a movie, but the at home kind. So, because the library was closed already we went to the next cheapest thing. . .Redbox. At this Redbox we found the movie FIREPROOF. I had read on a friends blog that it was a good movie, so we got it.

It was really good. It was produced by the same church that produced Facing the Giants. (Facing the Giants was really corny though; this movie wasn't corny to the same extent) FIREPROOF is a story about a husband and wife of 7 years who are having major struggles in their marriage and want out. What you see is the husbands journey to decide what he really wants out of this marriage, if anything at all.

This show hits Love, kindness, fighting, selfishness, pornography, the covenant of marriage, and much more. It pulls at your emotions. (I got all teary-eyed more than I can count.) I thought it was great and even my Hubby wants to own it. You can go see the trailer here and decide if it's a movie you would enjoy seeing.

I am a complete "extras" junkie and spent like an hour and a half watching all the outtakes, deleted scenes and more extras. Laughing my face off. Don't miss it. Check out the movie soon. It's worth your time.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

The Merit Badge that Women Don't Know About

So, I was at an Eagle Project today helping to clean peoples yards in the neighborhood and afterwards there is always food, right? Well, we are sitting there eating our hotdogs and all the (younger)guys are talking about when they will be finishing school, what jobs they are going to do, buying houses, etc, etc. I enjoy observing these conversations because you know half (if not more) of what they say is something they still haven't brought up to their wife because they are afraid to do it. (It's funny for me)

Anyway, at some point in every conversation like this a couple of guys will always bring up their "Sugar-Mamma." They all laugh and joke about how their wife has put them through school and how such a wonderful life that is and how they wish it could be like that forever. So, today I said,

"I'm convinced with as much as you all aspire to have a sugar-mamma, this is what they really teach you in scouting. In YW's the girls are all pressured to make sure they have a well put-together home, craftiness, kids, and a wonderful husband. You guys are taught to find a 'sugar-mamma'."

They thought this was extremely funny and even figured out what the merit badge would look like. (a little cube of sugar, like the ones you put in coffee, embroidered on the badge) AND they even decided that they would tell the girls that it was a badge for learning how to treat horses or cows or something. I thought this was hilarious.

This information is worth passing on, so that we won't have the wool pulled over our eyes anymore. Watch out girls. They are coming for you.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Pics Following the Yard cleanup

So, I have been spending my last couple of days helping my mom and dad out with their business. It's lawn maintenance and care. (this was the way my parents taught us how to work growing up. employees willing to work for almost nothing. Now I love yard work) We spent the days tearing up all the dead plants, turning the soil, getting ready for pretty flowers this season. We also power raked multiple yards. For those of you who don't know what power raking is; it is pulling up all the dead grass from the base of your new grass. This dead grass is what kills your new grass lots of the time. Leaving unsightly spots in your lawn.

Look at all that grass!

All of the bags of grass from just one lawn. (there are 25)

After doing three lawns I think we bagged 53 bags of grass total. The bagging was what took forever.

My dirty feet after the long day.

It was a long fulfilling day. Accomplishing something that looks great afterwards is so wonderful.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Earth Day

Today was earth day and I spent the whole day out in the sun with my mom. We were working in the garden. Pulling up weeds and dead shrubs. Getting a tan (and by 'tan' I mean sunburn). I did put sunscreen on, twice! But I don't think it was working today. Thank goodness for Aloe Vera Lotion.

I will post pics tomorrow. I am too tire to attempt it tonight.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Late Night Giggles

PHannie: I need my space; leave me alone.

Hubby: Space is overrated. (as he nestles his head in my neck area while squeezing into the oversized chair we have.)

PHannie: hehehehehehe

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Beautiful Rainy Day

I was surfing the bloggosphere and visited one of my favorite places, Mrs. B. Roth. I suggested along with a couple of other bloggers that she was in much need of A Day Off. However, it's not so easy with children to do that. You can't just dump them on the side of the road (although you might feel like that sometimes).

So, I told her she should take the kids outside to play in the rain. Not many people do this anymore. Always afraid of getting sick or "catching a chill." After I suggested it, I felt as though I couldn't tell her to do something and not take part in it myself. I went out.

It was beautiful. Not too cold. I had forgotten how much I loved running in the rain. If you are on a not so busy street, you can hear the birds enjoying their public bathing while gossiping to each other. (the good stuff always comes out in the rain) The new fresh air is invigorating. Wonderful.

Here is a picture of one of the streets I ran down. The pretty blossoms in the rain.

Me. All soaked and extremely happy. (I wanted to throw a tantrum this morning, but I am better now.)

Monday, April 13, 2009

Easter Sunday

It was a wonderful week leading up to Easter Sunday for me. There was lots of contemplation, lots of family, lots of love. For LENT I wanted to find what I needed to work on, and begin steps to improvement and then begin to use those steps. I haven't soared to perfection, but I am doing all I can to get there. I hope that the beginnings of what I have started will not end after this past weekend. I don't believe that Lent is the only time to work on improvement, but I do believe that it can be the jumpstart that we all need. I hope it was a great learning experience for you as it was for me.

I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am awed by his example of love and understanding. I am in His debt eternally. I will never forget.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Phannie's Story (Beware it's a long story)

In my past LENT posts, I have mentioned a lot about God, how I feel about Him and how I feel in general. I don’t feel as though my emotions and the experience that is attached to those emotions have been conveyed well. (I have been trying to convey without explanation, which I was unsuccessful at) So, it might be time for me to express My Story:

A few years back, while attending BYU-I, I was unattached and wanting to do what all the boys got to do at 19- serve a mission. I had been dying to go for those LONG 2 years and now my age had finally caught up with my desire. So, I filled out the papers and awaited my call.

I was called to serve English speaking in the Virginia Richmond Mission. I was excited and nervous (like all are). I got everything ready to go and went. I spent 3 weeks in the Missionary Training Center (MTC). Unlike most missionaries I have spoken to, I loved the MTC. Those were long days, but I really enjoyed it. Then, the day finally came. The day every missionary waits for. . . departure. Like most departures from the MTC ours was at some horrific hour of the morning that no one really knows exists except Farmers. I get all my things packed and loaded onto the bus for the SLC airport and climb on. The ride was not long, but I quickly fell asleep. When I woke, we were there. I got off the bus, unloaded my things, walked into the airport and. . .

“Don’t go.”


“Don’t go.”

Okay, so I’m a very green missionary. 3 weeks remember. I am 21 years old. Little experience, but there is still some undeniable notion in my head that I am not to go. So, what do I do? I convince myself that I am just nervous and afraid of what might be out there. I am going to do a job that I have never had experience doing before and am just a little scared. (although I have never been scared before, this has to be it AND we are told multiple times before leaving the MTC that Satan will try anything to stop you from going/staying on your mission. So it must be Satan right?)

I go anyway. I get to Virginia. We are put through a long day of orientation at the mission home and then assigned to our trainers/1st companions. We also had a one-on-one interview with our Mission President. I met with him and still feeling that I was just nervous and should not worry but “lose myself in the work,” didn’t say anything to him about how I felt.

I got to my area with my new companion and began the work of spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ. My companion and I didn’t get along. (surprise, surprise. Every missionary has a companionship with this problem at some point on their mission) After a few weeks of doing my best to work I am still not able to shake the heavy feeling that I am not supposed to be there. And now, on top of this feeling is another nagging feeling that someone in my family at home is going to pass away. I finally go to my Mission President. (my presiding leader; the person that I am supposed to trust and listen to.) He tells me that I just need to not worry and work harder; the mission life will get easier. And he reads me the scripture about how your family will be protected and safe while you are out serving the Lord. (I don’t remember and can’t find who the revelation was given to or it’s reference. Sorry. I will find it.)

Now I am sure that there are a lot of great things in the Doctine and Covenants for me to learn, but revelations given to specific people are just that. Revelations given to them. Not to me. I can learn from their experience, but it doesn’t necessarily apply to me word for word.

Needless to say, my cousin died two weeks later. I got the phone call from the mission office secretary early in the morning and before we even answered it, I knew it was for me and it wasn’t good news. (by this time, I had two new companions and we got along great and they knew all about my feelings) My senior companion was furious that my Mission President hadn’t made the call himself, especially since I had just talked to him about this.

But we kept on working. And I kept on feeling worse. I called President again. He said he would have his wife call me. She called. She wanted to know why I wanted to go, (I didn’t want to go) what else I had to do at home (HELLO, I’m a girl and don’t have to be on a mission. I can do anything), and then wanted me to work harder. A few weeks later, I got sent to an LDS Services Shrink. He told me that I needed to have more faith, keep a grateful journal, and study and work harder. All while not really listening to what I had to say.

After another week of uneasiness which rendered me unable to physically go out and work. I went to the mission home and met with the President. (I thought that this would be a good meeting; finally he would listen right? WRONG.) After less than 4 minutes, he sent me into another room and had me call my Stake President at home, and then call my Dad. I talked to them both. My conversation with my dad was supportive, but still included the goal of staying on the mission. I came out. Told my Mission President about the conversations and he just looked at me and said that he wanted to know by the end of tomorrow what my decision was about staying here or going home.

Frustrated, I said Okay and left.(I know that I should have stood up for myself, but the emotional unrest was getting to me)

The minute my companion and I got outside and into our car, she told me that the President had told her that he didn’t think I was going to make it. (Good. Glad he could have a positive outlook about me and what I felt. Oh wait. He didn’t know what I felt. He wouldn’t listen)

On the hour long drive home, my companion and I decided that we were going to hash this out ourselves and make a decision based on our feelings. We did. The decision was to go home. We both felt like a two-ton weight had been lifted the minute we decided. It was good. Until. . .

I actually got home. No one knows why I’m coming home. My parents were told that it was a “medical” problem by my mission president. My stake president that I talked to had been released 4 days earlier and I was now being released by a man who didn’t know anything about the situation. No one knows and I’m not sure what to tell them because I have spent the last 3 months with people telling me I’m wrong, and crazy, and shouldn’t feel this way. AND everyone at home is afraid to ask. (stupid culture)

Since then, I have battled Priesthood leaders that refuse to listen, are so attached to “tradition” that they forget the real purpose of the gospel and church functions, and address me as one beneath them and their station. I have just a few years under my belt since the “mish” to dwell, ponder, and understand different aspects of this situation that happened and continues to happen. I know that we are subject to our own mistakes and misunderstanding. We all have faults. I don’t blame my Mission President anymore. I don’t despise the branch president that spoke to me as “just the wife.” I don’t get along with my Bishop now. But I don’t hate him either. He’s a traditionalist and I’m more liberal than he would ever think a Mormon woman should be. But I don’t feel as though blaming these men would be the right thing for me to do.

However, not blaming them leaves me with more questions, no answers, and feelings for God that are uncomfortable.

Why would God not let my Mission President know that I wasn’t supposed to be there?

Why would God keep me from finding someone in a Leadership position that would understand my feelings?

Why was I not looked after when I got home?

Why are there so many people who come home from missions and are not looked after?

Why am I cursed with Bishops that refuse to listen?

Why, when I can’t find anything too sinful on my record, do I not get answers to questions and prayers?

These and many other questions fill my mind every day. I have a million answers for most of them. Yet, nothing that seems to settle my emotions. They will settle someday. I’m sure a few more years will give me more time to understand.

I hope that my experiences were conveyed well and that you might understand me better. It helps for me to understand myself if nothing else.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

It's that time again. . .

General Conference has begun. I hope you all find something in this session of conference that brings you hope.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Ravenous Animal Inside

Has anyone else noticed the Ravenous Animal inside that growls to get out when you attend an extremely intense athletic event?

Isn't it wonderful? I went to my younger Brothers Rugby game tonight and although I don't know all of the rules, I was completely engrossed. And I could have jumped out onto the field myself.

Anyone know of any womens rugby teams in the Salt Lake Valley?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Planning Meals for the Week/Month or Whatever

Has anyone found an easy, healthy way to plan meals for a week? I don't tend to stick to the "meal plan" when I do plan. And sometimes I just don't feel like eating the "plan."

But if there isn't a plan that means that by the time I am STARVING I just want something NOW. So, I go out. BAD. BAD. BAD. (trust me, my hips said so)

Any Ideas?


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