Sunday, August 9, 2009

Relief Society Lesson

So, I don't know about what your lesson was on today, but mine was on Relief Society. You know, the organization and importance of Relief Society. Usually I like to discuss how the lesson was taught or the difference in oppinion that I have from others there, but today I just wanted to mention my lack of experience with what others have had.

Today everyone (especially the older ladies, but a lot of the younger ones too) was talking about how much Relief Society is there to help them make friends (which is not the real/only reason for the society) and how it's been such a blessing in their lives. I just don't understand. I have been going to Relief Society for 7 years. Not as long as some, but longer than a lot of the girls that feel "so blessed" from it. I just don't get it. Relief Society for me is a waste of time. It's fluff that we could do without. I have never made a bosom friend there. I have never felt welcomed. I have never felt like someone helped because they weren't forced to. I don't like to have visiting teachers come over. (I refuse to be the number you get to report every month when we are not really friends) I don't mind being there and helping with activities or when someone needs it. I'm tired of trying to be friends with people in the ward that don't want to be.

I just don't understand where these women are coming from. I have been in many different wards in the last 7 years and all I have found is that the older I get, the more unfriendly people become. They don't want me in the circle. So, explain to me how Relief Society is here for me?


Mrs. B. Roth said...

Wow. I bow down to your brutal honesty.

I've been in Primary for the past decade or so - the RS is mostly unaware of my existence, yet alone any needs I may have. I have a few acquaintances in RS, maybe 2 people I could call in a pinch to watch my kids, but, yeah, no bosom buddies, and never felt very welcomed. What the blazes is wrong .. is it us or the church? And can I say how much I hate being admonished for missing a visit when I have been visited ONCE in the last 2 years? Evidently my VT thinks a wink in the hall counts. The lessons ARE fluff, no substance (when I get to visit, though it's rare). Can't tell you how much I crave a real live discussion of deep gospel principles with open minded adults.

We better watch out, you and I, all this complaining is a sure ticket to RS President...

Regan said...

I've been where you are. I love my RS (for the first time ever) and I still don't like my VT (wonderful women) to come for the "visit". I spent years in the nursery, primary, YW and finally got old and put into RS (this was how I thought about it). I'm 50 this year and been going to RS about 20 years. I finally love to go...I don't feel very connected to any sisters in particular but I have learned so much from them. I get spiritual strengthening not BFF's from RS. I guess I'm not a make-lots-of-friends type but I really do enjoy hearing the insights from these other sisters each Sunday. That's what I take away and I guess it is enough for me.
That being said I TOTALLY understand how you feel! Been there lived that. I would be your friend (not even the VT type) if I was in your ward :0)
Have a great week and sorry for the really long "comment".

JJ said...

Steph, I have felt the exact same way. I hated going to RS because I felt like I wasn't worthy of being there, or that the lady's made me feel like I didn't belong or they were being a fake friend.
I realized I had major anxiety from going so I stopped.

when I got married and moved, it took the ward 5 months to realize I was even in the ward and another 2 months before I met anybody from the ward. I met the RS president and her counselor and told her I was ok with visiting teachers as long as they didn't preach to me......well, no one came to visit me and then I moved a month later.. It feels like to me if you aren't part of the crowd already, its very hard to join it.

For me it wasn't worth the anxiety I had and the frustration of trying to be a part of something that didn't help me, spiritually or emotionally.

I hope things are better for you. you should try and take a week or 2 away from it and see if it helps you.
I'm also glad I'm not the only one that feels like that.

Em said...

I don't have as much to say as others above, but I so totally agree! I have been in my current ward for 4 years. I have no friends and usually sit by myself. I hate feeling like a number a rarely feel the Spirit in the meetings. I hate being made to feel guilty because I would rather have my visiting teachers not come, and would rather not invade someone else's home myself. So basically I just second your post.


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