Selfless Service

Today I visited another ward. The Relief Society Lesson was on Service. I think, Selfless Service. Her lesson was a fine lesson. It moved along well, there were some good things talked about.

However, every time service is brought up so is missionary work. This is also fine because really missionary work is service and lots of the time (we hope) is selfless service. I usually dread this topic because (story here) I have a very different outlook than others do concerning it. So, especially when I'm visiting, I don't usually comment on missionary service because my comment with proper explanation would take ALL lesson. Instead, I tell you.

The teacher was comparing missionary work and motherhood as being selfless service. (I agree) And a girl in the back commented that these two circumstances are the same because it's through both of these situations that we find great joy, love, and understanding.

I wish I could agree with the girls comment, but I just don't. I will admit I don't have any children yet so I don't know the sleepless nights of feedings, changings, burping, sickness that come with the little ones. (although the time is nearing quickly) I do, however, know that I don't find great joy, love or understanding in the missionary work that I did.

I know many do, but I don't. When I take time to remember the things that I did and went through these are the opposite feelings of the ones I experience. I remember sadness, sickness, loneliness because of no opportunity of understanding, and frustration.

The feelings that I feel about my mission are probably not unique to me, which makes me think that (no matter how much mormon women are supposed to feel) the feelings concerning motherhood or anything else are not always positive ones. There have to be women that do not find joy in motherhood. I have a really hard time putting a Selfless Service label to any type of action because we are all so different and will therefore experience service very differently.

I hope, positive or not, that you recognize your experiences as yours. Don't let you feelings be thrown into a category that would make you feel as though there was something wrong with you. There is not. Your feelings are yours. Your experiences are yours. It may not be an Ensign story that you get, but it's specifically your story. You will get out of them what God wants you to get out of them.

A Run in at the Park

I just went to the park with a friend of mine (who was kind enough to come pick me up; thank you) and her two little girls. We packed lunch and headed out.

Got to the park. Set up our blanket. Got food out. Fed children. And let them play at the playground. You know, playing with other kids, slides, running around, swings,etc. Oh, wait did I mention the Crazy Lady?

There (kind of out of no where) was an Old lady sitting at the edge of the park. She was sitting with her back towards my friend and I who were on the grass, but still right next to the park. My friends two little girls had been exploring and basically introducing them to other moms and their kids and playing with them all. Then we noticed that they were over by this old lady. We were watching and saw that the youngest girl took a doll from the stroller the lady had. We thought maybe she had taken it away from the baby in the stroller or that the lady's grand-daughter was playing in the park.

My friend gets up to make sure that her little girls aren't bothering the old lady and realizes that there is NO baby in the stroller. She makes her daughter put the doll back and takes them to go play in the park again. Well, the Lady gets up rather quickly and walks across the wood chips with the stroller. ALL while kooing and calming the DOLL. She gets to the cement out of the park and RUNS away. Completely RUNNING.

So, next time you are at the park, BEWARE of the old lady with the stroller and no child. Weird, Crazy old lady.

Maybe I'm being harsh, but it was strange. And you can never be too careful around children.

Don't Worry, It Will Break

Today I had the wonderful pleasure of Mer and her little ones over. We had poopy diapers, throwing up kiddos, screaming, sleeping, eating for the little ones and lots of ranting for us.

With everything going on and my TV being as old as it is, I didn't think it to be as fragile as some of the new HD, flatscreen, thin TVs that are out now. I thought that it would have a little more stamina.

BUT let a 2 year old play and you never know what will happen. (It's an old tv with a vcr built into it) He was just pushing the buttons, not even hitting the power button (amazingly) and we figured that he couldn't possibly hurt a non-powered TV. He was sticking his hand into the very convenient little slot in the front (thinking it was so cool) and we would tell him not to and he would pull his hand out. Again, not thinking that anything would go wrong with the TV.

Then, after he decided that wasn't fun anymore. He left and played elsewhere. An hour or so later, when he was getting fussy again, we decide that Big Bird could help and go to put in a DVD. Only to find that the TV turns on, begins to make all sorts of noises from the VCR and then just shuts itself off. We tried pushing buttons like the little one. Tried to fix it with the programming button, but the TV wouldn't stay on long enough to do anything. It was hopeless.

So, after today, I just wanted to pass along. No matter how old your TV is. No matter how indestructable you think it might be. Even if you think that there couldn't possibly be a way that a little one could break it. THERE IS. IT WILL HAPPEN. BE HERE NOW FOREWARNED.

Memories of the First Day

On Saturday, my Hubby and I spent the evening with some very good friends. We ate dinner, had creamies, built a fire, laughed, talked, and conversed with multiple junior high and high school kids getting ready for the next week. They were talking about the things they had just bought for their new year at school and I couldn't help but feel a sadness.

I wish that I had mom to take me shopping still for new pairs of jeans, shirts, shoes, felt pens, books, binders, pens, and pencils. I miss the smell of the school the first day (at the beginning; by the end it just smells like sweaty boys). I miss the first day of practice after a full day of school. I miss the papers, the assignments, the new cute boy in English. The excitement of being older.

Now, I'm older. I have responsibilities. I'm pregnant. I can do whatever I want (in theory) when I want. It's just not what I imagined when I was younger. It's better in many ways, and I was seriously mistaken in others. It's nice to be older; I just wish I wouldn't have wished it away so fast and would have enjoyed the younger times a little bit more.

The beginnings. . .

Here are the beginnings of some blankets that I am creating.


The room.


Two different baby blankets.


Our old jeans. (I NEVER get rid of jeans because they make wonderful blankets.) This one because my hubby wanted another "heavy" blanket to have around the house. We fight for the other one.




Pieces all sewn together. Just waiting for batting now.




These are some burp rags I made today. I made them to match a couple of other blankets that I made a couple of years ago. I made them rectangular because the peanut shaped ones let spit-up get all over me and I don't like that. I like full coverage.


These are some baby blankets that I crocheted. I really like the green one.

This is what has been occupying all of my time. Hopefully I will get to finish the blankets soon.

Working Hard

There will be pictures soon.

I am working hard on many blankets and quilts. It's one of those things that I tackle every few years. Which means, I collect fabric and yarn for years before I try to down-size my accumulations.

I have been having a lot of fun turning my front room into a sewing/crocheting room. I am tired of watching the same movies over and over though. (I will deal with it until I go pay my late fees at the library)

What are you working on right now?

What do you watch or listen to while you are working on your crafties?

Coupons? Coupons?

I have been hard at work trying to get rid of all of my yarn and fabric. Help to "clean up" my home, but I have run into a little dilemma.

I am out of some of the essentials for my projects; like, fabric that matches, batting, boy colored yarn, thread.

So, I was wondering if anyone had any Joanne's or Hancock Coupons from their mail that they weren't planning on using this month. Mine have Mysteriously stopped coming in the mail. I will have to start that over again. But until then, does anyone have any they can spare?

Let me know. Thanks

Cheaper By the Dozen Review

The Hubby and I were given the privilege of attending Cheaper By the Dozen at the Beverly's Terrace Plaza Playhouse in Ogden.

It was a cute story about a family of 12 kids. The 1920's father likes to run his home like a factory and just doesn't understand his children; especially the girls. It's a cute play depicting the many struggles that families encounter together.

Mrs. B. Roth and her son, Crichton were great. Mrs. B. was a very convincing Maid that was just overworked. Crichton was the cutest little boy. He was Fred, one of the youngest children in the family. He got to play with the family dog a LOT. Both were wonderful.

I would come back to this little community playhouse again. If you are in the Ogden area you should look it up. Their next play is Beauty and the Beast. And then to finish off the year, Scrooge. (always a winner) It was a wonderful date night. Check it out.

Cheaper By the Dozen

WOOT! WOot!

I'm going to Cheaper By the Dozen up in Ogden. I am so excited to see Mrs. B. as the maid. I will be the one cheering loud at the end of each act and at the end of the play.

I'm so excited. It's gonna be great.

Relief Society Lesson part 2

I have this discussion with the hubby at least once a week. (usually when it comes time to go to RS) He always asks why I still go. I must be getting something out of the classes, right? No. I really can't believe some of the things people say. But I guess it's the hope that someday I might get something out of it that keeps me going back (not frequently, I might add). Cause we are supposed to be there to strengthen each other spiritually and emotionally and temporally (if we can). I don't get this where I am. Maybe I am jealous of those with friends at church or at all. Adult life is different than what we have all grown up with.

As kids, we are active in sports, music, club, drama, school and whatever else you might have done as a kid. But what do we do now that we are out of school. Work. What if now it's stay-at-home-mommy time? Then what do you do? We had situations thrown in our faces to make friends with people that we really connected with and understood when we were kids. What's left now? Church?. When there is nothing else and you're the scary, outspoken, more liberal one than anyone else in the ward person, what do you do? So, like Mrs. B said, 'is it us or the church'?

I sit in lesson after lesson about how we create our own situations and how we can decide to be happy or sad and how our attitude is our own fault and no-one elses. I don't agree. I do believe in the statement from Remember the Titans,

"Attitude reflects leadership, Captian."

I don't say this to blame the First Presidency, but to address that there are disfunctions in local leaderships. And, no, I don't need anyone to remind me about how we are 'all human'. But why can't we take time to fix the problems? Who ever decided that because the were "called" meant that they can't be corrected? If they are here to learn aren't we here to teach each other? Doesn't that give us the responsibility to address these things?

I can't be too far off when I know I'm not the only one in the world that feels like this. And it's not just this area. Are we all spread out because we are supposed to do something about it in our own little spaces or are we all spread out so we will be afraid to say anything because there is no one to rally with?

Mrs. B told me that we should watch out because of our complaining, it's a sure ticket to being Relief Society President. My hubby says the same thing to me a lot. But he always says that once there, then I can make changes. (not trying to realign the stars or anythhing) Maybe it wouldn't be that bad. But again, I'm the one the bishop is afraid of, it'll never happen.

I really am glad that there are people out there that love Relief Society. I'm really glad that there are RS that really care. And that is wonderful. Can't I get into one of those wards just once?

“Friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of ‘Mormonism.’ … It unites the human family with its happy influence.” –Joseph Smith

I have had days where I leave Relief Society and I feel like I shouldn't worry about friends because I'm supposed to feed on the gospel, but reading this quote from Joseph Smith reminds me that they go hand in hand. We are supposed to be a Christlike people. Christ did things out of love- a real basis for friendship.

We are supposed to be here to lift one anothers burdens and help to make them light. This is my problem. I know that Jesus is the ultimate helper here, but sometimes I just wish that once when I told someone about what I struggle with that I could get some tangible help and understanding. There are a lot of us out there and we get left behind, lost in the cracks, or misplaced. BUT that's a whole nother discussion.

If you want to read a really good lesson/discussion about friendship go here.

Relief Society Lesson

So, I don't know about what your lesson was on today, but mine was on Relief Society. You know, the organization and importance of Relief Society. Usually I like to discuss how the lesson was taught or the difference in oppinion that I have from others there, but today I just wanted to mention my lack of experience with what others have had.

Today everyone (especially the older ladies, but a lot of the younger ones too) was talking about how much Relief Society is there to help them make friends (which is not the real/only reason for the society) and how it's been such a blessing in their lives. I just don't understand. I have been going to Relief Society for 7 years. Not as long as some, but longer than a lot of the girls that feel "so blessed" from it. I just don't get it. Relief Society for me is a waste of time. It's fluff that we could do without. I have never made a bosom friend there. I have never felt welcomed. I have never felt like someone helped because they weren't forced to. I don't like to have visiting teachers come over. (I refuse to be the number you get to report every month when we are not really friends) I don't mind being there and helping with activities or when someone needs it. I'm tired of trying to be friends with people in the ward that don't want to be.

I just don't understand where these women are coming from. I have been in many different wards in the last 7 years and all I have found is that the older I get, the more unfriendly people become. They don't want me in the circle. So, explain to me how Relief Society is here for me?

How Do You Teach Your Children?

I had never really considered the effects of teaching the gospel on children before. How did they affect me? How will I teach my kids? What is the underlying theme I want them to hold onto when they thing about the gospel and why we do the things we do?

Well, I was reading this post by Alisa. She talks about her growing up years, and the fear that was (probably unintentionally) placed upon her, and how she looks at why we do what we do now.

It started me thinking. I have a lot of frustrating moments and disagreements with things that are done and said at church. Most of these feelings are because of the place at which the things are done and said come from. I feel that most people are doing them for the wrong reasons.

I like that Alisa addresses the Love that is truely behind all we do. I agree with her. There is no better reason than Love.

I hope you all go and read this post. It was worth the few minutes of time.

Phannie's 3rd Anniversary

Isn't my husband the cutest? While I was in Rexburg with my Mom, My Hubby took the whole afternoon to clean the house and get it all pretty for me when I got home. He bought me flowers. He's so wonderful.



We went out to eat and then snuggled while watching a chick-flick that night. I love my Hubby.

Rexburg, Idaho Temple

So, apparently my weeks are filled with visiting temples.

I went up to Rexburg, Idaho with my Mom to drop off my younger brothers at the lovely E.F.Y. program. It was interesting to be back up at the school where I made so many memories and friends. It's a great campus, but seems so empty when no one you know is there.

After dropping off the boys we went up to the temple to see it. I hadn't seen it yet. It's a beautiful temple. I didn't have time to go inside and do a session, but the outside was wonderful.