Sunday, May 3, 2009

Claustrophobic

Today was not a good day for me. My emotions were running away from me (no, I'm not pregnant) and there was no way to drag them back into submission. I wanted to yell and scream at everyone and everything in my sight. This is hard because I was at church. (not the easiest place to let it out, ya know?)

It's been a long time since I felt so claustrophobic. I couldn't breathe, sing, listen, focus, or yell and scream the way I wanted to. So, immediately after the Sacrament I darted out of there. (understanding husband knew I needed space) I went out the wrong door, walked all the way around the building to my car and drove right home.

At home, I ran inside for a bathroom break, to pack my hiking bag, change, and ran right back out the door. I drove up the canyon to clear my head. The outdoors always seems to lighten my load. I parked in an area that I was not too familiar with and then started hiking up the trail.

I walked, listened, enjoyed the scenery, and took pictures.







I wasn't there for very long because I didn't want my hubby to worry or spend the rest of the day alone (no one likes a Sunday afternoon by themself). So, I came home.

I don't really feel much better, but I do feel less strained.

3 comments:

Tali said...

i hope you feel better. I usually stiffle it in and end up sobbing or yelling atthe wrong person. beautiful pics. show me these trails some day? I need them.

JJ said...

I have never thought to go up the canyon when I need space.....that actually might help me.

I usually end up taking a steaming hot shower and cry the whole time.

I hope the world is less suffocating

hugs!

PHannie said...

I love to go up the canyon to be alone. Mostly because you really do get space. When I'm at the park in the city there are too many people there to see me cry.
But up the canyon I have the beautiful sounds of nature (something definitely bigger than me) to remind me there are beautiful things around me, even when I feel like there isn't.

Tali, we will go sometime.

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