My last couple of weeks have flown by. Grandmas death. Traveling up to my home of the great white north. Viewing. Funeral. Soccer. Food. Traveling back to SL Valley. Visiting Family for games. Church. Work. There just hasn't been a spare second in my days to really reflect on the passing of Grandma and how I feel about it.
We all know that I have issues with people at church and that I really wouldn't talk to most of them about anything, but yesterday a sweet wonderful woman came over to me after sacrament meeting to see how I was doing. She had noticed that my eyes were weepy.(And I really had tried not to let them get to that point) She asked about my week and I told her about Grandma. She asked how I was doing and I told her that "it's okay."
She then proceded to remind me that we have to mourn. Most of the time we (the busy American culture) decide that death is just something that happens and that our lives go on and so must we. She said that even though we (the LDS I know that other faiths believe this principle too but this was who she was talking about) believe in the ability to reunite with family after death we still need to take the time to address our feelings and mourn. It may take weeks, months, or even years, but she didn't want me to shy away from it.
I agree. And I am grateful for this woman who did remind me that there are good people around, even in the places that have been harder to find them.
I didn't really expect to be as shaken up by the death of Grandma as I was. She was my step-grandma, although she never treated me that way. I didn't see her as much as I see my other Grandparents. But she was there when I needed her to be. She took me to her performances. She let me paint with her special, expensive water colors. We played games. She told me all about her quilting. She always remembered what I was doing, where I lived, and always remembered my hubby(even though she had only met him a couple of times).
It was sad to see her pass. And there might be more to my emotions because now BOTH of my dads parents are gone, but I do know that I will be able to laugh with her again. Play cards with her again. And tell her all about the things that I have learned and enjoyed in life. We will share memories and love again. I know it.