Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Confessions of a formerly Obese Runner

So, I was running yesterday around Sugarhouse Park and I realized that I fall into the category of "runner judging other people who run". I don't mean to do this and it's mostly a critique of myself; however, I really don't like to be passed by another runner who has chubbier, jigglier legs than me.

I know that just because some are larger than the little toothpicks on the magazines doesn't mean that they are necessarily OUT OF SHAPE. And I would know this more than most. I used to weigh 200 lbs. and have always been the thicker athlete in school. So I should understand! I just wasn't expecting my own head to tell me that I needed to pick it up because flubber over there just passed me. It did give me the anger (at myself) to finish my long run of the week though.

I'm the one on the left. feeding my face. 200lbs.


Mrs. B. Roth said...

Insightful, honest post. I think it says more about how brainwashed women are than you personally. But we need to make the conscious effort to acknowledge where those negative, judgmental thoughts come from (media) and recognize that beauty is not just skinny.

Phannie said...

You are absolutely correct. "Brainwashed" that was the word I couldn't think of while I was posting.

Mer said...

I agree with Mrs. B Roth. I think it says WAY more about how women have been culturally programmed to compare ourselves to those around us. I pretty much ignore other runners -- until they pass me. And then it's either "No wonder -- look at how skinny she is!" or exactly what you thought, "I can't believe fatso is passing me!!!"

And I do the same thing when I lift weights -- especially now that I'm trying to rebuild all the muscle mass I lost on bedrest and am barely able to use the lowest weight setting.

Embarrassing? Yes. But saying it (or posting it!) out loud and acknowledging it? I think that's half of the battle.


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