My Heavenly Father is (as has been taught to me):
-all powerful (that makes him sound like the all powerful OZ)
-Father of all mankind
-we pray to Him
As an adult my experience with Him has been less tangible than I remember as a child. I remember really feeling that he was around. Really there when I needed. Really going to answer my questions. I realize that I know Him less and less by the day.
We never really talk about Him. We do, however, talk about Jesus Christ our Lord plenty. Now, do not misunderstand me. I do not, by any means, want to discredit what Jesus has done for me and you, but I do want to distinguish between the two individuals. (They are 2 distinct beings each having a body of flesh and bone)
My relationship with the Christ has had 25 years to develop and I consider Him as my personal friend, but I feel as though my relationship with my Father has had significantly less tenderness shown to it.
What I know and feel about my Heavenly Father at the present time:
-I feel as though He is just watching and waiting
-I think that He trusts me
-I'm fairly angry
-He created some amazingly beautiful things in this world (I hope someday I will be able to see and experience them all)
-He blessed me with a loving husband who supports in ways that no one else could have
I know that God expects things out of all of us. In Lev. 11:44-45, He commands us to be "holy" because He is holy. How do I become holy when I do not know His holiness?
We all know that God's purpose is to "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39) And our purpose is to "keep my commandment, yea, with all your might, mind and strength." (DC 11:20) Now this implies that we must know the commandments first to be able to keep them. So study of the gospel is imperative. Right, STUDY. Check.
So, if I know all the commandments then I'll know what God wants. And if I know what God wants then I will know Him. Correct? But where are His emotions? I can only recall His emotions being recorded at the death of Jesus Christ. "And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent;" (Matt 27:51)
The Bible Dictionary says that "God can be known only by revelation. he must be revealed, or remain forever unknown." How come the more I study and know, the farther away I feel? I prayed a whole lot before, but answers are just not a luxury I acquire. I used to just figure that He trusted me to make decisions, and I just made them. So far, they have worked out well. It gets pretty lonely after many years of listening to others share their stories about all their prayers being answered daily. But how come He wont let me in?