The Visiting Teaching message this month is a difficult subject for me.
Personal Revelation.
I know that people receive personal revelation. I also know that it is essential to our relationship with God. However, I don't feel like He likes to talk to me so much. I'm no work of perfection walking around or anything so He can't really be not telling me anything because I'm GOOD. I'm not particularly evil either. I have struggled with different things/people over the years, but nothing too terrible.
We're supposed to "prepare to receive personal revelation. . . by studying the scriptures, fasting, praying, and building faith."(Elder Robert D. Hales) So, I'm not very good at this right now, but I have had some pretty dedicated/faithful blocks in my life where I was doing all I could.
We're supposed "study it out in your mind; then . . . ask if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you: therefore, you shall feel that it is right."(D&C 9:8) I'm pretty good at the studying part. Not so good at the asking part (anymore). But I was at one point.
NOTHING.
I mean, I can count on one hand how many times I have felt prompted. In Twenty-six years, that's not many. Now I don't need to know exactly how many cans of beans I need to buy, but I would like enough communication to make me feel like He cares. Especially with big decisions, school, getting married, large decisions that my Hubby and I make together. None of these things do I get answers for. They are pretty big decisions. Some very life changing. Yet, NOTHING.
Then I've heard the "you have to learn how He speaks to you" speech from Sunday School teachers. Blah blah blah. How am I supposed to learn when he doesn't speak to me? Or when he does it's every few years. Like:
-The Salt Lake City airport leaving for my Mission. "Don't Go"
-Driving on I-15 to help out family. (No good reason not to go) "Don't go. You'll just end up on the side of the freeway."
Definitely 5 years in between those two experiences. So when I think that it's just me being stupid, I ignore it. When the promptings are so in frequent, how is one supposed to think "this must be legit."?
I'm not very good with subliminal messages. You've just got to tell it to me straight.
How do you know what you're thinking is real?
What are your practices that keep you aware?
3 comments:
You know, I've had many conversations with Him where I told Him that I just want a yes or no answer, straight out and clear. I'm sure he was up there chuckling at me. Unfortunately, we both know things just don't work out that way. It's too easy.
I'm slowly learning that one of the most frequent ways He communicates with me is just a simple absence of confusion, like something feels like the natural thing to do. And if something is wrong or if I need to do something, it is constantly on my mind, bugging and pestering me.
I don't think I've ever had a big bold, "DO OR DON'T DO THIS" type of experience. Everything has always been very subtle.
Like when our baby had to have her surgery where they cut open her head. Before we knew for SURE she would have the surgery, my husband gave her a blessing in which he said she would be okay. He just assumed it meant she wouldn't have the surgery. But I had a thought, "Just because she'll be okay, doesn't mean she'll avoid surgery".
From that moment on, even while I was worried, stressing, or crying, I also felt peace. Very subtle, but it was there.
I think once I stopped looking for a bog, obvious answers, I started noticing the little communications/revelations.
Wow, that was a long "comment". :D
I wish that I got those delicate promptings. I don't. Everyone seems to. Maybe that's really what bugs me.
I don't mind making my own decisions. I kind of like it actually. I just hate that I spend time trying to communicate and all I get is a busy signal.
It's just that if I got everyday "feel good" moments, then I would probably know when to listen to the other MORE DEMANDING commands. Ya know?
Phannie,
I don't know of very many people who get the BIG BANG answer or promting... reading your post I can also count the few times it has been a big do it or don't moment and the whole "stupor of thought or burning if its right" confuses me because I don't feel like it is like that for me. However I feel like personal revelation is given to each of us differently because we are all individuals what works for some doesn't work for others. In my singles ward AGES ago a man bore his testimony about pomptings I'll have to tell you about it sometime it was really good for me because his first prompting was rediculous but as he followed he was given other things to do which led him to something greater that the Lord needed to know he would be ready for when the time came.
Long story its the small things that lead us to the big things. Acting on thoughts we have will lead us to the big bang revelation moments. I don't think its that he is not listening to you he surely is be still and let him work in your life.
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