Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Releasing of the MonSTeR!

I had a complete meltdown this morning at the 6 am feeding. Weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth accompanied my meltdown.

Let me start at the beginning:

I went to my last "post c-section" appointment with my Doc yesterday. I showed her my forever painful nipple problem I told you about. She was shocked. She said that I would need to put neosporin on it, use a shield or pump for the next 2 weeks. If it wasn't healed by the end of the 2 weeks then she needed to send me to the surgeon. She also added that every time someone went to the surgeon for something like this he always says to StOP Breastfeeding.

I know that I want to breastfeed. I HAVE to breastfeed. I can't afford anything else.

So, I do what I'm told. I go to the store and buy shields. (I already own a pump) I get home and the shields are a mess to use. They wont stay on. My little Sweet Pea about sucks them into her mouth whole. (powerful sucker she has) It's frustrating me and HER.

I can't do this. So, I pump. Try to. The pumping is just not working. Sometimes the milk comes out great; other times I'm completely full. (felt it come in) And nothing will come out with the pump or when I try to express it myself.

This was the case at 6 am this morning. Thus, the weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. It was like anything in my way would evaporate just from my glares. It was a stay out of my way moment.

My poor Hubby. He took my Sweet Pea and put her back to sleep. (staying out of my way) Got back into bed after an hour and still wanted to cuddle me. It did feel a little bit better. (but just a little)


Queen of Kings said...

I am so sorry! I saw the same Dr yesterday day too I just Love her she is so sweet hopefully the advise she gave will help and it will just be an adjustment so no surgon is needed. You and Sweet Pea are in our prayers :) Good Luck Sister! Can we do anything for you?

Nielson Shmielson said...

I'm so sorry! I wasn't able to breast feed. When I took my baby to his 2 week apt. he had lost so much weight because I didn't have milk. I tried to supplement what little I did have. I remember having such a meltdown one night feeling like a complete failure because I couldn't breast feed. It is more expensive to bottle feed but you do what you have to I guess. Costco has a pretty good deal on formula. Thank goodness for good husbands right?! Hang in there!

Nielson Shmielson said...

p.s. this is Kami Carlisle by the way... Saw your post on Face Book...

Jinksfam said...

I am so sorry! That is so hard. I completely know where you are coming from when you have a meltdown. I have had plenty myself. Don't worry it will get better I PROMISE! And as for the breastfeeding. I only breastfed for a month with all of my kids. You should look into getting wic. You would be surprised by how easy it is to qualify and you get free formula...then when they get a little older you get free baby food,milk,juice, and other stuff. Check it out. I did it with all of my kids and it helped us so much!

Mer said...

I'm so sorry, hun!

What kind of pump do you have? Because what your describing (the inconsistent pumping) is usually resolved with a two-sided, hospital quality pump. You can rent one from most hospitals for about $30-50 a month, or your doctor can talk to IHC home care about getting one for you for free or that insurance will cover. If you're on WIC, your doctor can write a prescription you can take to WIC and they'll give you one for free. I had similar issues with the Monkey and switching pumps and using a shield saved me -- and that was 4 months of pumping. Call your doctors office, ask to speak to her nurse, and tell the nurse that your pump is not sufficient. Contact your local La Leche League or breastfeeding support group -- there will be other women who have gone through this! You're not the only one (There's a reason wet nurses used to be so common!) and they can get you in contact with other women who have gone through this.

IF it gets to the surgery point -- call me. I've had to do a ton of research into formulas and I can point you toward ones that are easily affordable -- even without WIC. Even when we were paying out of pocket with TWO kids on formula, I never paid more than $40 a month for formula. It's actually pretty easy.

I'm so sorry you hurt.

Alicia said...

I had the same exact problem with my first girl. She was a hard sucker. My one nipple was ripping in half, literaly. So I ended up pumping for 10 months straight. She didn't get a single bit of formula. I would feed her, then pump. Everyday! It was time comsuming, but she was my first and I stayed home so it was okay. I tried the shields too, but they weren't good for me. I was told the baby doesn't get as much milk from them because they can't suck as hard. The whole point, right? They don't suck as hard so your nipple can heal. Then your milk supply diminishes. What kind of pump do you have? The hand held ones are no good if you have to only pump. You need an electric one that pumps both sides at the same time and gives some pressure to the pumping. They cost almost $300 but still so much cheaper than formula. Sorry, that sucks and I know how you feel. My two boys were great nursers. I am a pumping expert so if you have questions, just facebook me.

Tiffany, David and Aurianna said...

I'm not sure if you remember me from Jr. High and High School we were in choir together and your hubby and I were friends. I am sorry to hear this and understand about wanting to breastfeed and needing to breastfeed. Like several others have said look into WIC, I am currently on it and it is wonderful. The benefits are great! I also had to pump with my little one since I have to work. When my little one was in the Hospital I had the hardest time pumping because I was so stressed over it. I talked to a lactition and one of the biggest things is don't stress, which is hard, believe me I KNOW. Also try a warm rice bag or something on your neck before you pump for about 10 minutes. I have a whole sheet full of ways to help your pumping be more affective. If you would like a copy let me know. Keep hanging in there, remember after much trial come the blessings. Let me know if I can do anything!

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Oh man... ouch! That sounds so awful!!! So sorry, I hope it heals very soon!
I could never breastfeed very long, not enough milk. While we were in school we had Medicaid which paid for all our formula. It was SOO nice.

When we were finally out of school, we started buying formula at Sam's Club. It was $20 for a HUGE can. Saved us BIG time. Because even when Alayna was big enough to drink several 6-ounce bottles in a day, we still only went through two cans a month. Not that that is "cheap" or anything, but since we HAD to buy formula, it was the best way for us to go. We would have been living on bread crumbs and water otherwise.

Good luck!


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