I had a complete meltdown this morning at the 6 am feeding. Weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth accompanied my meltdown.
Let me start at the beginning:
I went to my last "post c-section" appointment with my Doc yesterday. I showed her my forever painful nipple problem I told you about. She was shocked. She said that I would need to put neosporin on it, use a shield or pump for the next 2 weeks. If it wasn't healed by the end of the 2 weeks then she needed to send me to the surgeon. She also added that every time someone went to the surgeon for something like this he always says to StOP Breastfeeding.
I know that I want to breastfeed. I HAVE to breastfeed. I can't afford anything else.
So, I do what I'm told. I go to the store and buy shields. (I already own a pump) I get home and the shields are a mess to use. They wont stay on. My little Sweet Pea about sucks them into her mouth whole. (powerful sucker she has) It's frustrating me and HER.
I can't do this. So, I pump. Try to. The pumping is just not working. Sometimes the milk comes out great; other times I'm completely full. (felt it come in) And nothing will come out with the pump or when I try to express it myself.
This was the case at 6 am this morning. Thus, the weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. It was like anything in my way would evaporate just from my glares. It was a stay out of my way moment.
My poor Hubby. He took my Sweet Pea and put her back to sleep. (staying out of my way) Got back into bed after an hour and still wanted to cuddle me. It did feel a little bit better. (but just a little)