Friday, November 5, 2010

You're The Problem #2

So I've been thinking about it for three days. That's a long time. I don't usually keep running through my mind the horrible verbal encounters I have (I don't usually even remember what my Hubby and I were fighting about 24 hours later), but this just isn't going away. Probably because my reaction makes a huge impact on a large bunch of people.

I know that I'm not the real problem. I know this, but what they said still hurt. There's no way that all problems in the whole family could be my fault. I'm not around all the time, and heaven forbid everyone have their own opinions about things that may make them (what I call) lovingly banter once in a while. (By the way, it's healthy for people to disagree. It would be an EXTREMELY boring life if we didn't)

The whole thing started over what I said. It makes no difference the sentence as much as one word. Ass. Now, I know that swearing is one of the less graceful things a female could do; however, I do reserve the right to do it anytime I hurt myself, run my car into something, I am angry or annoyed. ( For the record, I did not swear when I ran my car into the cement barrier on I-15. I thought I would, but I didn't.) I don't use the "f" word. I don't like it. It's foul and indecent, even on a bad day. I don't use the Lords name in vain. It's just not my style and I kind of like Him. (even though we don't get along all the time) Ass, by the way, is NOT a swear word. It is:

1
: any of several hardy gregarious African or Asian perissodactyl mammals (genus Equus) smaller than the horse and having long ears; especially : an African mammal (E. asinus) that is the ancestor of the donkey
2
sometimes vulgar : a stupid, obstinate, or perverse person ass of himself> —often compounded with a preceding adjective ass>
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ass

All the others, I reserve the right to use if I so please. Keep in mind I don't use these words all the time. Just when the before mentioned situations happen. They aren't a common find in my everyday vocabulary. I do try to respect others habitat and mimic their vocabulary while in it. I don't say these words to everyone and I don't think I need to.

This is not something I'm sorry for. If someone (this person in particular) doesn't like it, that's just fine. They don't have to speak that way, but DO NOT lecture me (for 15 minutes) on how I shouldn't. And how because I do, it has caused the life around them to go terribly wrong. One little word is not going to end life as we know it. (not mine anyway. Maybe the Queens words, but certainly not mine)

Tootles made an excellent point (backing my Hubby's) by saying that I should analyze what has happened. I did. I don't like it. And I will do as this person wants and avoid them. I will be continuing all forms of family activities though. My good friend Heather suggested that if I didn't attend actities I (and hopefully they) would regret it later. She's right. So, that's what I'll do. Decision made. No more need to concentrate on it any further. Right? Right.


4 comments:

Luca said...

Hmmm.... Sounds like I know who the issue is with. I'm sorry for your troubles. Let us know if we can do anything for yah.

Mike and Jessie Leavitt said...

So you said that A** isn't a cuss word. You had to know this was coming so here I go.

Your evidence was based on the dictionary you cited so using your source we have...

Ass: sometimes vulgar : a stupid, obstinate, or perverse person

Swear: to use profane or obscene language

Profane: to debase by... vulgar use

Obscene: synonym = profane

Vulgar: Offensive in language

There are two parts to the definition of A** that are cited herein so I'll look at those two parts individually.

FIRST PART: "Sometimes Vulgar."
By looking at the definitions of profane and obscene we can reasonably conclude that swearing is "to debase by vulgar use." Since a** is by definition "sometimes vulgar" it already fits half of the definition of a swear. To fit the full definition it would also have to be used in a debasing, or degrading, manner. So in situations where someone is, intentionally or unintentionally, degraded by being called an A** then A** would become a swear.

SECOND PART: "Stupid, Obstinate, or Perverse"
The definition of vulgar is "offensive in language." The later half of the definition of a** states that it is a person who is "stupid, obstinate, or perverse." Just considering these words connotatively I would ask if you would consider it offensive to be called "stupid, obstinate, or perverse?" Assuming that you would consider them offensive language then you would also have to consider them to be vulgar since "offensive in language" is the definition of vulgar. This again returns us to the first half of the definition of a** which we have already established to be included under the definition of a swear ;)

Mike and Jessie Leavitt said...

P.S.

Love ya phannie:)

Phannie said...

Mike and Jessie,

In my defense, I was not actually calling this person an ass. I was really talking about their butt. They needed to get up and go; get moving; do some things for themself. I just didn't have the time to find a definition that actually defined ass as a butt.

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