Monday, October 18, 2010

Church: What Do You Like?


So, I'm moving into THAT emotional state. You know the one where you have to make a choice. Decide whether you stay or go.

Like or don't.

Do or Do Not.

In any other situation I would gather together my Pro's and Con's about the situation/thing. But I'm struggling to find anything that would fall into my Pro's category. Now, there simply can't be Nothing. Can there?

So, I would like your Pro's AND your Con's. (mostly pro's because that's what I'm missing)

Please let me know in my comments what it is you do or do not like about church. Why you are still there OR why you are not. It would be really helpful for me.

Thanks


****the photo came from ldsemergencyresources.com****

14 comments:

Luca said...

I don't like it because of all the crying children that are there. It's so noisy.

I love it, because when I sift through all the noise, I can feel the spirit, more so there than any other place (except the temple). And THAT brings me back every time, regardless of how many cons there are (even if I only named one).

Messie Leavitt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Messie Leavitt said...

So a lot of people disagree with me on this reason but I still like to stand by it. I always hear "I have to do it for myself" or "I have to know for myself." Call me crazy but I think it's alright to do it or know it for others.

Just so there's no confusion I still say you should have your own testimony and what not but why not get that testimony for the sake of helping others. Especially if you know it will not just help you but it will help them. So I say if it helps those you love then that's a good pro.

So if not going to church would help sweet pea and hubby then that's a con to going. But if going to church helps sweet pea or hubby then I would say that's a pretty big pro.

Tiffany, David and Aurianna said...

Pros:
The peace I feel when I go.
The support I get when I am in a good ward.
It helps bring me closer to our Father in Heaven.
It keeps me focused in this busy life of whats important.
It takes me out of the world if only for a few hours, but I can focus on my family and God and not on work.
It helps keep me centered.

Cons:
The only con I have is how I feel that even if I don't want to accept a calling I have to, because it is a calling from the Lord. Like right now I would have loved to say no to the calling but I would have felt guilty if I did.

I am sorry you feel the way you do. If you need someone to talk to or just need to get together with someone let me know. Maybe your sweet pea and my little one could play or something. Keep hanging in there and Messie said it's ok to know it for others or lean on other when your questioning or waivering with the church. That is why others are put in our lives is to help us. Hope I don't sound like I'm preaching to you or something! Good luck!

JJ said...

Are you wanting to leave because of the people in the church or because of what is being taught?

I haven't been to church in a long time. When I did go, I felt like People where judging me, felt unworthy to be there and felt completely out of place. I also didn't understand a lot of what was being taught and nobody would help me understand it because everything I wanted to know was stuff about what they did in the temple.

If leaving is going to make you feel better and less stressed, then that's what you need to do.

People can be Christ like and not go to church, and people can also be judgmental, horrible, and unwelcoming and go to church every week.

kimmrs said...

I go to church because of my testimony of the Savior and because we've been commanded to go by the prophet. If we listen to the spirit through all the "noise" that may occur at church, hopefully we will hear what we need to hear, despite what other people say or do.
Sometimes it may be difficult, but hopefully our testimonies will sustain us.

Destenee said...

The simplest answer I have is pretty cliche, but true...What would Jesus do? I know the answer to that and i think you do too. I am pretty sure it was NEVER easy for Him so why should it always/ever be easy for me? Things are difficult in this life for a reason, if it was always easy it wouldn't be a test and we wouldn't be able to show him how much we are willing to sacrifice to follow him. Church for me isn't about the ppl I see or talk to, or the amount of time I just spend in the halls chasing kids hearing NONE of any of the 3 blocks. It is about showing God and the Savior that no matter how hard, no matter how much I would rather stay in my pj's and not have to see or deal with anyone, it is not about what I want it is about what He wants and the sacrifices He made for me. And when I think about that about the blood shed I know I can never come close to repaying that debt but the least I can do is try...end of sermon :) Love ya!

Jennie said...

Sometimes church is really rough, I think we all know it. The spiritual pros are pretty, having the spirit, growing closer to Christ, temple worthiness, etc. The practical pros include good opportunities to serve, giving sweet pea a great example, developing skills a lot of people pay good money to learn, like public speaking. Those are some of my "pros". For me, the big reason to keep going when you feel like throwing in the towel is the same reason you keep running even when it feels crappy. You've come this far. Even if it's hard to remember right now exactly what it is, something about this religion feels good to you, really good. And if you just keep going, putting one foot in front of the other even if you feel like you're barely crawling along, things are going to get better. You're going to get stronger. Keep going like you would in the middle of a race. At some point you're bound to get your second wind. Love and luck to you!

Kimi said...

I'm so not the girl to answer this question. But I think as long as you are true to YOURSELF you can't go wrong. God loves you. And he loves you whether you are sitting in Sacrament meeting or whether you are cuddling on the couch with your family.

Queen of Kings said...

I think you have to ask yourself do the cons have to do with the people or the teachings and the spirit? If the cons are all with the people don't let others keep you from doing what is good for you. If the Cons are with the teachings and the spirit thats a lot harder. I don't know who said it but I liked her comment on keeping at it... she said its the same reason you keep running when you don't feel like it. Going to church is the same. After loosing Blaze I lost almost every ounce of faith... I kept going until finally now... I have started gaining the personal insight I need to be better to have a little understanding but going thru the motions helped me to get here.
So for me the Pros are... I've learned that my Savior Lives, I know my Heavenly Father Loves us. I don't usually feel the spirit in Sacrament meeting but that has a lot to do with me too... but I always feel it in Primary! There is a special bond between children and Heavenly Father I think it comes from being closer to the spirit before we let life get in the way. If for nothing else go to teach Sweet Pea who her Heavenly Father and Savior are.
I am sorry you are struggeling so much my heart aches for you please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Sorry for the long entry! LOVE YOU PHANNIE!

the fellers said...

I go with my two screaming children every week because of that sweet spirit that I feel, and then to top it all off, when my kids see the Temple on the hill and shout, "I SEE THE TEMPLE!!!" When all of a sudden I hear my two year old start sing, "I love to see the temple." I go because of those days when I feel like I dont want to, and I go and have a good day, or I come home and feel so much better. I go because even on those bad days I know that we have been INCREDIBLY blessed in our lives, when I know that things shouldnt go good for us, and then they do, that is why I go. I go because I know that when I pay tithing, even though it is SO hard some months, we are so blessed and things ALWAYS work out in the end. I go because I am one of two people out of my family of 9+ that goes, and I can see an INCREDIBLE difference in our lives compared to my siblings and parent that doesnt go's life. I know 99% of the reason my family doesnt go is because of the people of the church, and yes, I agree, the people are not true, it is the Church that is true, that is why I go.

cc said...

Sorry to intrude since I don't know you, but I popped ever from The Exponent.

I love what Jennie said about getting a second wind. That's what I'm hoping for too. Can I use this thought for a post?

I'm currently in "go for the fam" mode if I go, because I believe it's better for my spiritual health right now to avoid it. But I'm really hoping to have a desire to go back for more personal (not just sacrificial) reasons at some point. Hope you find the answer that's right for you.

Corktree

Phannie said...

Corktree, You are absolutely able to use the idea for a post. I can't wait to read it. Thanks for stopping by and for sharing.

TRM said...

At first, I stopped going to church most of the time because I had found the operation of the church, at the stake level, was neither inspired or even well-planned. I was a "junior" member of the bishopric.

For instance, a name would be introduced for a calling. This would typically happen after six other names had been drawn, then removed after discussion. Then, about six others would be approached, and typically too busy with work, home, or otherwise to handle the calling. Finally, we'd find someone who would somewhat fit our expectations AS WELL AS was willing to actually take the calling.

Prayers. The Bishop had a form that was filled out by home and visiting teachers, sent through their respective presidencies, handed to someone in the bishopric, and then presented with a solemn tone on Sunday or at meetings as people needing prayer for some malady. Never would the bishopric contact the person or meet with them. In meetings, the Bishop would open his eyes and read off the list with his best acting voice. Not too inspiring.

In meetings, the bishopric would gossip. Not full-on gossip, mind you, but people were definitely "talked about" in an inappropriate manner. This happened with two different bishoprics, both of which I was a part of. And members would come to bishopric members all the time to rat members out. One woman in the ward was seen in a window not wearing garments (but normal underwear). Within an hour, the RS president was calling up the bishop to tell him all about it.

But the operational part of the church only burned me out. It was studying the scriptures that convinced me to stop attending altogether.

This is a hard thing to go through. Most people don't have the insight I had. Most have a crisis of faith because of something inconsistent with their secular beliefs, or because someone treated them poorly. Some come to realize the futility of constantly trying to reach a goal that can't be met. There are dozens of different reasons why you question things, each is very personal. It's hard to take anyone else's experience and translate that into your own understanding. There is, unfortunately, no right answer. And there is no wrong answer. You have to do what's best for you and your husband and child, even if that's not always the "popular" decision.

I wish you well

TRM (a blog browser)

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