Confession Friday!!

I drowsily confess:

• it's been a long day already
• and it's only noon
• the little one has had goopy eyes all week
• AND not sleeping through the night
• If only she had started out this way
• then I wouldn't feel so destroyed.
• Apparently kids get goopy eyes and sleep less when they are teething
• let me check. . .
  
• YUP,
• Definitely teething.
• I am cutting out chocolate for a month
• doesn't that mean I can replace my chocolate intake with everything else
• (like the beautimous Carrot Cake that my Hubby brought back from the office)
• it came from Harmons.
• OHHHH
  
• SOOO
• GOOD
• I still dream about exercise though
• Is that my subconscious telling me that I should stop beating on my body?
• I declared yesterday "Pajama Day"
• today just might be "Pajama Day #2"
• I use WIC
• I had an appointment today
• I HATE it when they talk to me like I'm an
  
• ill-educated,
• lazy
• mom
  
• who doesn't properly take care of my child
• My Sweet Pea is Very well taken care of, thank you very much.
• Just ask my Hubby.
• (He just might feel a little neglected since Sweet Pea arrived)
  

Anyone up for a Sun Dance Ceremony?

Is anyone else feeling the need to dance the sun back out? I'm wishing for spring and summer.

I'm afraid my summer vacation is going to arrive without the weather.

No More Chocolate!

It's day #1 of my NO CHOCOLATE month.


Let's start at the beginning. I'm not a chocolate person. I know that there are definitely people that want to bathe in it, but it isn't one of those foods that I crave or HAVE to have.



However, in my last two weeks of pregnancy I craved it for the first time EveR! And since then, I haven't been able to cut the habit. Since I am trying to lose the 60 pounds I gained during pregnancy I decided I should probably drop some of the dirty habits I have formed.

Eating chocolate is Dirty Habit #1.

It's said that you can create a new habit in 30 days, right? So, here I go. No more chocolate for the next 30 days. I will let you know how it goes.

Keep me accountable people.

Seeking and Receiving Personal Revelation

The Visiting Teaching message this month is a difficult subject for me.

Personal Revelation.

I know that people receive personal revelation. I also know that it is essential to our relationship with God. However, I don't feel like He likes to talk to me so much. I'm no work of perfection walking around or anything so He can't really be not telling me anything because I'm GOOD. I'm not particularly evil either. I have struggled with different things/people over the years, but nothing too terrible.

We're supposed to "prepare to receive personal revelation. . . by studying the scriptures, fasting, praying, and building faith."(Elder Robert D. Hales) So, I'm not very good at this right now, but I have had some pretty dedicated/faithful blocks in my life where I was doing all I could.

We're supposed "study it out in your mind; then . . . ask if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you: therefore, you shall feel that it is right."(D&C 9:8) I'm pretty good at the studying part. Not so good at the asking part (anymore). But I was at one point.

NOTHING.

I mean, I can count on one hand how many times I have felt prompted. In Twenty-six years, that's not many. Now I don't need to know exactly how many cans of beans I need to buy, but I would like enough communication to make me feel like He cares. Especially with big decisions, school, getting married, large decisions that my Hubby and I make together. None of these things do I get answers for. They are pretty big decisions. Some very life changing. Yet, NOTHING.

Then I've heard the "you have to learn how He speaks to you" speech from Sunday School teachers. Blah blah blah. How am I supposed to learn when he doesn't speak to me? Or when he does it's every few years. Like:

-The Salt Lake City airport leaving for my Mission.  "Don't Go"

-Driving on I-15 to help out family. (No good reason not to go) "Don't go. You'll just end up on the side of the freeway."

Definitely 5 years in between those two experiences. So when I think that it's just me being stupid, I ignore it. When the promptings are so in frequent, how is one supposed to think "this must be legit."?

I'm not very good with subliminal messages. You've just got to tell it to me straight.


How do you know what you're thinking is real?

What are your practices that keep you aware?

Confess, confess, ConFeSs

I do proudly confess:

• Although you may have cute kids, I have the MosT AdoRabLe Sweet Pea alive.
• I could spend all day kissing those cheeks
• I really do

• I ate chocolate chip cookies tonight while pumping
• Did I mention that I have the BeSt Hubby around?
• He does the night shift while I pump.
• This is so I'm not up for two hours.
• He's so wonderful

• I really need sleep right now but i just don't want to put my little one down
• I don't remember what a clean house looks like
• Secretly I hope your house is a disaster as well
• I guess that it's not a secret any more
• Maybe I could pack up the little one and run away.
• Then I couldn't see the eye sore I have in my home
• As much as I love the adorable baby stage,
• I truly wish I could have popped out a toddler
• they can at least tell me why they are screaming
• and can move themselves around
• I know I shouldn't wish for this but I do
• I guess God will give what I've got coming soon enough.

Pumping Through The Days

Pumping is CoNSuMinG my life!!

I get up and pump, wash the pump. Eat. Drink. Feed Sweet Pea, play with her, then put her back to sleep. Pump again, wash the pump and any other dishes. Eat. Drink. By the time I finish washing and eating she is up AGAIN. She is only sleeping for an hour. (sometimes more. I wish she would decide so I can fit laundry and cleaning in somewhere) It's all I do. Live, Breathe, Eat, Sleep Pumping........

I feel like I am not pumping enough in each session. Does anyone know how many ounces is "normal"?

The Itch

I've got it again.

It is lingering far too long.

It seems to be spreading.

I'm becoming red.

Antsy

Unable to contain myself.

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I NEED TO MOVE! I NEED A NEW PLACE. We have officially outgrown our apartment. AND there are no more things I can sell, throw out or donate. Anyone know of a place?

It's Going. . .

Got an electric Breast Pump.

So far it works well.

Way faster than a hand pump.

It seems to be going well.

I hope it keeps up.

I had to travel twice to Babies 'R Us because of the pump. The first one didn't have a manual in it. $300 and NO manual. What were they thinking. (until I realized that the manual might have been in the only pocket I didn't see OR check. Oops!)

Money Transformation

It's amazing how a saver can be magically transformed into a spender when you have a child. It's so fun to buy clothes, accessories, and toys for my Sweet Pea. Babies 'R Us loves me.

Was that Death???

Today is the day. I hope everyone has filed their taxes by now. And for those of you that are just remembering, I hope you can get everything together by tonight.

Good luck.