Pumping Through The Days

Pumping is CoNSuMinG my life!!

I get up and pump, wash the pump. Eat. Drink. Feed Sweet Pea, play with her, then put her back to sleep. Pump again, wash the pump and any other dishes. Eat. Drink. By the time I finish washing and eating she is up AGAIN. She is only sleeping for an hour. (sometimes more. I wish she would decide so I can fit laundry and cleaning in somewhere) It's all I do. Live, Breathe, Eat, Sleep Pumping........

I feel like I am not pumping enough in each session. Does anyone know how many ounces is "normal"?

The Itch

I've got it again.

It is lingering far too long.

It seems to be spreading.

I'm becoming red.

Antsy

Unable to contain myself.

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I NEED TO MOVE! I NEED A NEW PLACE. We have officially outgrown our apartment. AND there are no more things I can sell, throw out or donate. Anyone know of a place?

It's Going. . .

Got an electric Breast Pump.

So far it works well.

Way faster than a hand pump.

It seems to be going well.

I hope it keeps up.

I had to travel twice to Babies 'R Us because of the pump. The first one didn't have a manual in it. $300 and NO manual. What were they thinking. (until I realized that the manual might have been in the only pocket I didn't see OR check. Oops!)

Money Transformation

It's amazing how a saver can be magically transformed into a spender when you have a child. It's so fun to buy clothes, accessories, and toys for my Sweet Pea. Babies 'R Us loves me.

Was that Death???

Today is the day. I hope everyone has filed their taxes by now. And for those of you that are just remembering, I hope you can get everything together by tonight.

Good luck.

The Releasing of the MonSTeR!

I had a complete meltdown this morning at the 6 am feeding. Weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth accompanied my meltdown.

Let me start at the beginning:

I went to my last "post c-section" appointment with my Doc yesterday. I showed her my forever painful nipple problem I told you about. She was shocked. She said that I would need to put neosporin on it, use a shield or pump for the next 2 weeks. If it wasn't healed by the end of the 2 weeks then she needed to send me to the surgeon. She also added that every time someone went to the surgeon for something like this he always says to StOP Breastfeeding.

I know that I want to breastfeed. I HAVE to breastfeed. I can't afford anything else.

So, I do what I'm told. I go to the store and buy shields. (I already own a pump) I get home and the shields are a mess to use. They wont stay on. My little Sweet Pea about sucks them into her mouth whole. (powerful sucker she has) It's frustrating me and HER.

I can't do this. So, I pump. Try to. The pumping is just not working. Sometimes the milk comes out great; other times I'm completely full. (felt it come in) And nothing will come out with the pump or when I try to express it myself.

This was the case at 6 am this morning. Thus, the weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. It was like anything in my way would evaporate just from my glares. It was a stay out of my way moment.

My poor Hubby. He took my Sweet Pea and put her back to sleep. (staying out of my way) Got back into bed after an hour and still wanted to cuddle me. It did feel a little bit better. (but just a little)

I MISS:

-going to the Temple (I'm not ready for a babysitter)

-running

-taking the sacrament (soon RSV season will have passed and I will go back)

-my pre-pregnancy jeans, shirts, gym clothes

-my pre-prego will power to not eat EVERYTHING in sight

- G-ma and G-pa. they are soo far away

-hiking (too cold for my Sweet Pea yet)

-swimming

-sunshine (No more SNOW!!!!)

-having no bills

-having no worries (I thought they were worries but what did I know in High School)

-knowing what will happen (School, Christmas break, School, Summer, Work, work, work, Repeat)

Cesarean Realization

Okay. So, I haven't been so great at the working out thing since I had my little Sweet Pea. (really since I became sick soon after I found out about the little muffing cooking inside me) However, I was feeling ambitious a couple of days ago and so I went to the Recreation Center to get on the treadmill.

I was thinking that I would get there, walk for a warm up, walk faster for my workout with little spurts of jogging (1 min. intervals). Oh, was I surprised. I walked for my warm up and then started to increase the speed of the treadmill. I couldn't raise it past 3.0 at any point during the workout. I walked for 20 minutes.

I got off the treadmill and wanted, even though I had FINALLY got to the gym, to cry. I have NEVER in my entire life workout out at that low of a speed. I never ever warmed up that low. I used to start at 3.5 or 4 for a light jog warm up. Even at my fattest, most out of shape time. Never.

This C-section thing really took it's toll on my body. I had no idea. I had been feeling really good. Really wanting to get out and begin my runs again. Dreaming about Running. I now understand the true meaning of "lack of motivation." It's not just the activity, length, or no-one to work out with. It's the feeling of humiliation. The feeling your body gives you of can't. Or even won't. It's hard.

I must not let these feelings, no matter how real, over run the motivation that got me out of the house this week. I NEED to keep going. I will.

J-Dawgs

If you haven't ventured down to "Happy Valley" to try these amazing dogs you have been missing out. They have a very simple menu: regular dog or polish dog. Then choose your condiments: jalapenos, onions, special sauce (a must), pickles, banana peppers, or sauerkraut.

I love the polish dawg with onions, special sauce, and banana peppers. So good. This was our lunch choice between conference sessions this Saturday.

J-Dawgs is located at 880 North 700 East in Provo, Utah. You HAVE to try these.

Late Night Thinking

You'd think that I would be losing more weight because of all the walking I do to put my Sweet Pea to sleep.  So really I'm lifting weights and walking at the same time. 

Maybe my not losing weight has something to do with my 3 bowls of ice-cream I had last night.

(I can't resist the BYU Really Raspberry and my Moms homemade caramel and hot fudge sauces.  AND it's tradition.  You HAVE to eat Ice-cream after Priesthood Meeting.)